"Hey, bartender," says a customer, sitting at the bar.  "What kind of 
bird is that sitting on the perch?"

   "Oh," says Bob the bartender, "that's a Crunchy Bird!"

   "I never heard of a Crunchy Bird," says the patron.

   "Just watch," says Bob.  He takes a newspaper off the bar and throws it 
down on the floor, then he turns to the bird and says, "Crunchy Bird, my 
paper!"  The bird swoops down and attacks the newspaper.  He rips it to 
shreds until there's nothing left but tiny pieces of confetti.

   "Wow," says the customer, "can I try?"

   "Be my guest," the bartender replies.

   The customer takes off his shoe and puts it on the bar and says, 
"Crunchy Bird, my shoe!"  The bird flies down off the perch and picks the 
shoe up with his beak.  He slams the shoe down on the bar and starts 
attacking it.  In no time, the shoe is reduced to nothing but a few pieces 
of leather and a shoelace.  Then the bird flies back to his perch behind 
the bar.

   Suddenly a tough looking guy walks into the bar.  He yells, "Gimme a 
drink NOW!"  He looks around the bar snarling and yells at the patrons, 
"What are you clowns looking at?"  The bar is completely silent. 

   Then the bully notices the bird and says, "What the kind of stupid 
looking bird is that?"

   "That's a Crunchy Bird," says bartender Bob.

   The tough guy laughs and yells, "Crunchy Bird, my eye!".