1. MURPHY'S LAW
   If anything can go wrong, it will.

2. O'TOOLE'S COMMENTARY ON MURPHY'S LAW
   Murphy was an optimist.

3. THE UNSPEAKABLE LAW
   As soon as you mention something...
   ...if it's good, it goes away.
   ...if it's bad, it happens.

4. NONRECIPROCAL LAWS OF EXPECTATIONS
   Negative expectations yield negative results.
   Positive expectations yield negative results.

5. HOWE'S LAW
   Every man has a scheme that will not work.

6. ZYMURGY'S FIRST LAW OF EVOLVING SYSTEMS DYNAMICS
   Once you open a can of worms, the only way to recan them is to use  
   a  larger can.

7. ETORRE'S OBSERVATION
   The other queue always moves faster.

8. SKINNER'S CONSTANT (FLANNAGAN'S FINAGLING FACTOR)
   The quantity which, when multiplied by, divided by, added to, or  
   subtracted from the answer you get, gives you the answer you should
   have got.

9. LAW OF SELECTIVE GRAVITY
   An object will fall as to do the most damage.

9A.JENNING'S COROLLARY
   The chance of bread falling with the buttered side down is directly
   proportional to the cost of the carpet.

10.GORDON'S FIRST LAW
   If a research project is not worth doing at all, it is not worth doing 
   well.

11.MAIER'S LAW
   If the facts do not conform to the theory, they must be disposed of.

12.HOARE'S LAW OF LARGE PROBLEMS
   Inside every large problem is a small problem struggling to get out.

13.BOREN'S FIRST LAW
   When in doubt, mumble.

14.THE GOLDEN RULE OF ARTS AND SCIENCES
   He who has the gold makes the rules.

15.BARTH'S DISTINCTION
   There are two types of people: those who divide people into two 
    types, and those who don't.

16.SEGAL'S LAW
   A man with one watch knows what time it is. A man with two watches 
 is never sure.

17.NINETY-NINETY RULE OF PROJECT SCHEDULES
   The first 90% of the task takes 90% of the time, and the last 10%
    takes a further 90%.

18.FARBER'S FOURTH LAW
   Necessity is the mother of strange bedfellows.

19.THYME'S LAW:  Everything will go wrong at once.

20.HARVARD LAW:  Under the most carefully controlled conditions of
     pressure, temperature, humidity, and other variables, the system will
     perform as it damn well pleases.

21.THE LAW OF THE PERVERSITY OF NATURE:  You cannot
     determine beforehand which side of the bread to butter.

22.PARKINSON'S LAW:  Work expands to fill the time available for its 
   completion.

23.WEILER'S LAW:  Nothing is impossible for the man who doesn't
     have to do  the work.

24.WOODWARD'S LAW:  A theory is better than its explanation.

25.UNNAMED LAW:  If it happens, it must be possible.

26.COHN'S LAW:  The more time you spend in reporting on what you
    are doing, the less time you have to do anything. Stability is achieved
    when you  spend all of your time reporting on the nothing you are
    doing.

27.HUBBARD'S LAW:  Don't take life too seriously; you won't get out of 
     it alive.

28.CHISOLM'S LAW: Anytime things appear to be going better you 
   have overlooked something.

29.FINAGLE'S LAW: Once a job is fouled up anything done to improve 
   it makes it worse.

30.DUNNING'S LAW: Progress is always making new mistakes.